twistedsecrets

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it (anywhere i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)
i want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

- e. e. cummings, i carry your heart with me

just heard a fantastic new song. maybe its not new, but i've never heard it before.

"angels on the moon" by thriving ivory

Do you dream, that the world will know your name?
So tell me your name
And do you care, about all the little things or anything at all?
I wanna feel, all the chemicals inside I wanna feel
I wanna sunburn, just to know that I'm alive
To know I'm alive

Don't tell me if I'm dying, 'cause I don't wanna know
If I can't see the sun, maybe I should go
Don't wake me 'cause I'm dreaming, of angels on the moon
Where everyone you know, never leaves too soon

Do you believe, in the day that you were born?
Tell me, do you believe?
And do you know, that everyday's the first of the rest of your life?

Don't tell me if I'm dying, 'cause I don't wanna know
If I can't see the sun, maybe I should go
Don't wake me 'cause I'm dreaming, of angels on the moon
Where everyone you know, never leaves too soon

This is to one last day in the shadows
And to know a brother's love
This is to New York City angels
And the rivers of our blood
This is to all of us, to all of us

So don't tell me if I'm dying, 'cause I don't wanna know
If I can't see the sun, maybe I should go
Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming, of angels on the moon
Where everyone you know, never leaves too soon

Yeah, you can tell me all your thoughts
About the stars that fill polluted skies
And show me where you run to
When no one's left to take your side
But don't tell me where the road ends
'Cause I just don't wanna know,
No I don't wanna know

Don't tell me if I'm dying
Don't tell me if I'm dying
Don't tell me if I'm dying

We just bought a house! :D

Saw it yesterday, looked round it twice yesterday, went back today to have another look, put in an offer that was under what they were asking (didn't expect to get it, was thinking we'd have to walk away and continue the search) and the agent rang an hour later and said we got it.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee so excited! We are going to be homeowners!

And the house is absolutely beautiful :)

check it out:

http://www.realestate.com.au/realestate/agent/prdnationwide+hobart/xnfgle/105342597

3 bedrooms, a vegie garden (with all sorts of awesome vegies already), a fish pond, couple of sheds, new kitchen and bathroom.

Very very excited right now :D

You know, its been ages since I've heard a song that I completely love on first listen. Do you know the songs I mean? The ones that give you that awesome feeling inside and you just want to stop everything and listen to it. I have heard a lot of good songs lately, but this is one of those amazing ones. You know?

Its 'use somebody' by kings of leon.

You should go listen. Seriously. It is awesome.

That's all :)

x

Having a massive Etsy sale from now until January, as a lot of my listings expire then and my drawer full of 'things for sale' is getting too full!

All items are reduced, some are half price. All earrings are down from $10 to $6.50.

If you are an Australian buyer for most items I'll do a direct dollar for dollar exchange rate for you, just send me a message :)

Check it out at:

estrellacreations.etsy.com

:)

So I've decided that I'm going to start giving my crochet stuff away for charity. I'll still put some things up for sale, but I want to do something to help other people. I don't have the time right now to make a commitment to volunteering, as much as I would love to. I'd really like to work for the soup van, or mission Australia's youth beat program, but at this stage I can't give a definite time each week that I'm available for because I've got too much going on with uni and work.

So, because I make so much random crochet stuff I thought I'd give some away. (seriously, I spend every night working on something, I have about 15 unfinished projects in a set of drawers in the lounge room, only a handful of things I make end up on etsy).

I'd like to give blankets, toys and baby booties and things like that to the women's shelter, as they often have women with children in crisis situations. They are an unpublished address (naturally) so I'd have to ring them to organise giving them a donation. There's also bethlehem house which is a crisis shelter for homeless men. I'd also like to give scarves and gloves to homeless youth but at this stage I'm not sure which organisation would be the best one to choose to make sure they get to the people who need them.

If anyone has any wool lying around that you aren't going to use, it doesn't matter how much or what colours, or a few dollars spare that you feel like donating to the cause, please let me know. If anyone does donate money I'll use it to stock up my wool supply, I won't keep it for myself or anything like that.

Thanks :)

Rach x

sorry for all the promotional stuff lately, but its got to be done!

xx

Yay!! I found an awesome online community where I can sell my photography without the hassle of having to go down to the photography shop everytime someone orders something hehe.

Check it out:

http://www.redbubble.com/people/estrella

I don't have much on there yet, but when Uni is over and I get more time to spend doing final edits on the squillions of half finished photos I have lying around, it will become more full.

xx

I've got some new items listed on etsy - a couple of plushies but I'm also starting to list my body products. At the moment there is lip balm and pain relief cream on there but keep an eye out as soon I'll be adding hand cream and other moisturising products.

http://estrellacreations.etsy.com


love rach x

oh my goodness uni is giving my brain some grief.

exams are next week. i was hoping to spend some time during prac studying but was so exhausted every day that I didn't get the chance to, so now I have this week alone to study for them. I have 3 exams - 2 bio ones and a foundations one. foundations I'm barely concerned about, but bio is insane. we have to know so much information. I spent yesterday and so far today going through past exam papers and while some of the questions I can answer, there are so many more that I cant.

I'm having trouble concentrating enough to study too, I dont know why. I guess cause I haven't been to a lecture for over 3 weeks my brain has goten out of that academic frame. gah.

I'll cope though. I'm procrastinating at the moment, but thats okay. I watched a dvd earlier with a live dissection of the digestive system, that was pretty interesting. digestive is one of the exam topics so it was relevant, too. I still have about 20 pages of questions on the exam papers to research and find the answers to. i'm reading through my lecture notes carefully and when I find an answer, noting it down. that way i've still had to think about it and find it so its not like i just flicked through and found the answer.

I'm considering becoming a midwife. I still have to finish nursing, and midwifery is a post grad degree so I can do it part time over 2 years while working. I just think I'd get bored way too quickly just being a general ward nurse, and I want to do something that really matters. Plus, I dont want to sound up myself, but the fact that I'm doing so well at uni so far makes me think maybe I should make the most of my brains and study further. I dunno.

I know I want to specialise in something. Wound management would be awesome, I love wounds and all the thousands of dressing types and the way the body repairs itself and stuff. mental health i'm not so keen on now. I still would like to help people with those sorts of problems but i get too fired up about it I think. I get too pissed off when people make derogatory comments about mental illness. That could be a good or a bad thing if I was working in that field.

we'll see, I guess. have to get through this lot of exams and another semester before I can seriously consider a specialty.

x

OMG. I have been invited to join the golden key international honours society.

its a uni society thing for the top 15% of uni students around the world. they offer scholarships, careers, it looks fab on your resume, an induction ceremony thing, a certificate saying you are clever, umm.. some other stuff.

i am amazed.

all my teachers over the years always said I could do good if i only 'applied' myself more. and look, i've been working my butt off at uni and apparently my grades make me in the top 15% of students.

wow.

hehe :D

xxx

I went out with Em last night, it was awesome fun. She came around about 9ish, with a bottle of Ricadonna. We polished that off while getting ready and then hit the vino. That didn't work so well, lol... apparently it was a bit vinegary :S Not too sure how that happened but thats okay. After we'd downed that, gotten ourselves all pretty and perfect, we rang for a cab then sat outside looking at the stars (and my weird new neighbours across the road) while we waited.

We headed in to the James. I love that place. I dont know if its just the $5 cocktails, the fact that the cocktails are awesome, or the place, but I love it. Em's friend (and probably future husband, but both of them are in denial) was working the door. That provided for a fair amount of entertainment. He's bought a new bike, a ninja, and it was parked across the road. he was bragging about the speeds it can get up to and so on, so we were taking the piss out of him.

We had a couple of coronas and then hit the cocktails. Before we headed out, Em told me that she was planning to get pissed, but not pissed pissed pissed. After her second or third teapot, she swayed towards me and whispered loudly 'you know i said i wasn't gonna get pissed pissed pissed? well right now... i'm about pissed pissed'. We found it very entertaining how if one of us moved fast the other one could see them in 2 places until our brains caught up. yeah, okay, we were drunk. I had a few teapots too, and man they are good, but then I was on the tuscan nights which I adore.

Everything was amazing me last night. I was really happy when I started drinking, so my mood was fantastic all night long. Everything was really pretty. I went to the toilet at one point and my feet in my sparkly black shoes and my pants around my knees and the graffiti on the door looked so amazing. hahaha. I seriously wanted to take a photo, and would have done if I'd had my camera. Admittedly the toilets are lit up in a purple/pink colour so it did look pretty cool, but I dont know if it was really photo material.

All of a sudden it was nearly 1am, so we decided to have just one more cocktail then head to the saloon for a dance and to find some uni people who were meant to be out. Two, maybe three, cocktails later we made it outside and walked round to the saloon. Neither of us could feel our legs, or faces, or hands, so walking was extremely funny.

By this stage the saloon was pretty busy, but it was late so it was free, and they didn't even check ID's or anything. (Not that it matters, I'm way overage!). It was fantastic. Again, everything was beautiful. We dashed in for a toilet run and I met a girl who was in love with my dress, and so we had a big talk about that and the shop I got it from. Then out to the dance floor. The band were still playing and every song was a great one. We were up near the front and it was like there was no one there, or something. I mean it was busy but no one was bumping us or crushing us or being annoying, everyone there had a really great vibe.

Found Mark and his new woman, mingwah (I cant remember her name, but she was a pain. she didn't like him talking to us much). And one of the first years emily was looking after on Monday was like 'OH MY GOD!! ITS MY MENTOR!!' every time she saw us. I asked her friend if she did nursing, and the reply was, 'i love dancing!!!' That amused me for a while. The band finished and they played some decent club music. We danced for ages. We decided to go say goodbye to Luke before he knocked off. Wandered back to the james, via some drunk old men who said that we should have a father daughter sex relationship with them cause emily told them to fuck off they were too old (lol). Said goodbye to Luke, and then he sped down the street on his bike. They didn't even hug goodbye. honestly, they both like each other but neither will do anything, because it might affect the friendship.

After that we went down to the pizza place for a slice of pizza. Its not as good as la bella. But while we were queuing to get served, this guy came walking down the road from saloon, stopped, got down on his knees, did a somersault type thing, and then stood up. Ems and I pissed ourselves, and em took the piss about him doing a grandma concrete roll. He came up to talk to us and was very funny, him and em got along really well. Anyway he wandered off, and we got served. next thing he was back "thats the two girls who were picking on me!!" and then Mark said "its Rach n Em!!!!' haha. so he turned out to be one of marks friends, and he lives at AMC which is just across the road from my place, on the other side of uni.

He told us he was sick of being the third wheel to mark and his woman so we said he could come talk to us. I have no idea what his name was, but he's doing engineering and is from qld, thats all I can remember. Em and him hit it off pretty darn well though. We offered for him to come in our cab on the way home, because mark and his woman were being all affectionate and we were all going to the same place.

They had a very interesting conversation on the way home about the engineering of midwifery and c-sections, and trajectory and angles of babys and afterbirth on the walls and so on. I couldn't stop laughing and the taxi driver just looked terrified. Em told him for being so disgusting he had to pay for the cab, and surprisingly he did. We got dropped off at AMC and em and I walked back across the campus. Its dark, although there are lights, and very scary at night. We were hoping that security would come and say hello or something, but they didn't. halfway across a really dark section of grass em pipes up with 'hey do you remember that girl got raped last year, just down there.' grr so not the right thing to say!!

we made it home safely though. I cooked some noodles for us and we had a little debrief about the night before falling into bed about 3.30.

So far today we woke up, ate some stuff, and went shopping at kmart. It was about all either of us could manage. No hangover but just feel really buggered.

Okay I've run out of things to write now. I might go do the washing up.

x

eeeeh i am very excited.

just dropped into town to check out a new store i heard about and omg its like heaven.

they have a sale on, and even without the sale stuff is hell cheap. I have never been in a clothing store before where not only have I loved practically every single item I saw, but they have every single item in my size. very very happy.

I just bought four dresses, 3 party dresses and a casual one, for $82. I got a gorgeous short silver satin dress, a cute green pinafore dress with little pockets, a maxi dress in greens and blues, and a very nice floor length strapless pink and black dress. the pink and black one is like something my barbie would have worn when I was a kid but its actually kinda hot.

so now I have the dilemma of what to wear tomorrow night?!?! its only a party up at catherines with the usual crowd but its nye so I should wear something special. I might go the green and blue long dress, but I'm considering the pink and black one, even though its a bit dressy.

we shall see :)

oh and apparnetly they have a store in launnie too ;) heh yay! hello shopping trips during the year :D

we're getting a puppy :D

anyone who knows me at all will know how excited this makes me. I am such an animal person. As much as I love puddles the budgie, shadow the siamese fighting fish, and my two goldfish, they aren't quite as cool as a dog or a cat.

I have had to put off getting any real pets becuase of my retarded living situation - launnie and hobart, two houses, all that jazz. But Al and I were talking about it and decided that seeing as I have another 7 weeks of uni holidays, thats enough time to get a dog reasonably trained before I have to start going back up to school. I'm only working casual so it can get used to being alone for a few hours a day before it has to deal with 8-5 while als at work and I'm in launnie.

When we go away, like to Launnie for a weekend, or when we go up to Jamie's wedding, then we can always ask chloe to come and stay here and dog sit (until she goes on her big trip away, but thats not till april anyway). So we have to organise a fence of some description and then we can start looking :D

It will be a shelter puppy, of course. That's something about all my pets, they've all been shelter animals. expect merlin the bunny and sid the guinea pig, they were petshop boys, but the rest of my animals have been rescued. If we were getting a labrador or a big dog then I'd probably be okay with getting it from a breeder but we only want a littleish doggy, we dont have enough room for a big dog. We'll get a big dog when we get some land, but thats a while off yet.

yay its so exciting :) hehe. Unsure what breed we'll be getting. I personally *love* staffys, but Al doesn't like them, and they do require a lot of exercise and get very bored on their own. Jack russels are a bit too hyper for us. It really depends on whats in the shelter when we go, but we both want to get a young dog. (Although to be honest, my heart always goes out to the older dogs in the shelters, cause you just know they'll be the last ones to be adopted.)

Maybe we could get a big dog if it was older, but it would need to be house trained, cause big adult dog pee is a lot worse to deal with than puppy pee on the carpet lol.

yeah so thats my news for today. Now I gotta get back to writing my essay for summer school. I've written 500 words, only 1000 to go. bleh.

R x

well, I've finally got around to uploading some of my more recent photos, its been a while since I posted any... I was meaning to post some from the end of Uni celebrations but photobucket kept dying on me. Today though it seems to be playing nice, so here are some pics...

( photos.. clicky clicky )

I feel very.. refreshed? clear? something. happy, anyway.

I've just gone through my wardrobe and chest of drawers to get rid of some clothes. I did it a couple of weeks ago and got rid of one bag of clothes. Today I was a lot more brutal, and managed to get another 2 bags of clothes and a bag of shoes. Big garbage bags. The vinnies people are gonna think its christmas.

Its probably about a thousand dollars worth of clothes, if not more. I briefly considered selling it on ebay but then i'd have to hang on to the clothes for however long and post it and thats all hassle, when maybe some less fortunate people out there would like to buy brand name clothes and shoes for $5 a pop.

Its stuff that I haven't worn in ages. A handful of things still had the tags on but if i haven't worn them in a year, I'm not gonna start now am I. Some of the things I was hanging on to purely for sentimental reasons. like 'aww thats the dress I wore to NYE 2004, when such and such happened...' or 'ohh those trousers came from england and remind me of working at boots'. lol. Not very valid reasons to keep clothes.

So I feel refreshed and happy, my wardrobe finally has some order to it, all my clothes I wear actually fit in my drawers (for ages they have been shoved in badly or stacked on the floor next to my dresser as they dont fit) and I've done something good to fellow mankind. lol.

Now I'm just sitting down to enjoy a toasted sandwich before dropping my timesheet into work, getting petrol for the weekend (two huge days of work), grabbing some sour cream for our fajitas tonight and then I reckon I'll start cleaning up the spare room.

I've been living here for ages but I still haven't got all my shit sorted out. Although coming back from launnie for the summer didn't really help. Thats okay though, I'm loving having so much free time now. I'm working a couple of splits next week which is a killer but the money will be great, and I have 3 days off so thats all good.

:) x

its like way early in the morning and I just got home from an aweomse night out with my girlys

exams are over, oh my god, feel the joy! todays exam was shithouse, bloody impossibly hard, so wasn't expecting him to be that confusign with the questions but he was and hwo rude was that. but i think i did okay still as i studed for it and stuff. meh. i am all good, it will be fine.

anyway! wow what a night. started drinking at like, luncht ime, had a boozy lunch with the tute group, all ma homies, was fun as. went to the commercial. left there at like 3.30 and dropped mark home - advnetrure number 1 for todya! explorying AMC building! well the oustide, but still oooh errr. hehehe.

walked from my house to the supermarket and got stuff for risotto and then got at axi to jess's house and she made us risotto and god it was soo good and we went to teh bottle shopt and got mroe grog and started drinking again at like 5. was pretty much plastered by 9pm. loves it.

some boy called zac came and gave us a lift into town as he is keen on jess. and we went to em and jess's work and got cocktails for cheap and omg so much alcohol in them was hot. no like really got a hot flush was bizarre. and then we went to irish, but irsih was not happening (not a ptach on hobarts irish either). so then we went to the james. HELLO! new favourite pub. god that was aweosome. was pretty queit but $5 cocktails make rach a very happy girl. hehe. it was fcalled.. umm.. something nights. i cant remember. but god it was good. caught up wit hchris and his gf and friends there, and had some drinks and some joy. oh the toilet there is pruple, man, they wonder why people spew, the place makes you feel like you're inside a gumball.

from the james we went to uhh the saloon. so thats 4 launnie pubs i've been in, in ONE day!! wow thats cool stuff. the saloon was going off man. dont really get why people bag it so much, speshily people who never go there cause pfft launnie aint that shit hobart person. saloon was so much fun. ran into mark and heaps of nursing students that i cant remember their names. trout lips was therea nd she couldn't dance cause her skirt was too tight and her shoes too high and it was very very funny. mark was magotted and was highly amusing to dance with.

ran into sammy and she was all sorry for being horrible lately, ignoring us n stuff, she hugged me so hard and we stood in the middle of saloon bawling our eyses out lol. then boogied teh night away whih was fun.

then got a taxi home and he was weird but after we dropped em n jess off he was all chatty, so i dunno strange that. and then ig ot home and my silly flatmate hadn't locked the front door!! hello!! we live in dodgy ass suburbn, lock the bloody front door! but thats okay ause i couldn't find my key anywa yhahaha.


i dont know if i've ever been so pissed before, i think i have, but i had wayyyy oto many cockatilsa nd when i jst hopped out of bed to get my latpot i nearly fell over the air. damn ari getting int he way.

cant believe this year is over lareayd, my god, awsome, summer holidays with my man and our house and our stuffa nd friends and bbqs and new jbo and everything. very exciting. just gotta sleep now and then i can drive home tomorrow yayayaya :LD

cant sleep atm though cause the room wont sit still. make sme feel a bit sick. and the toilet is up the other end of our ginoaurmous house an dif ic ant be bothered going up there for a pee i cant make it htere if i'm gonna spew.

i dudn't even break any fingernails!! tjhats so cool!! and my feet arne't sore and i cant feel the rest of me so i think i'm okay hehehe.

i' gonna miss my crew up here. even though half of them didn't come out tiongiht i still saw the main ones - em, jess and sammy, and saw everyone else at lunch. see em all in febraury though.

okay


i'm going to lie down now as my eyes rae going sleepy.

ngiuht inght xxx

Well, I am a slacker for not writing for ages.

I got the job. I got it the day of the interview. They basically said they would love to have me on board, and the interview was only to make sure that I was not some kind of psycho hehe. and to get the paperwork sorted out. So that is really really cool. They are totally happy to work around my uni hours, I start after exams have finished, next year they can even look at giving me some launnie shifts for the days I'm up here. Because its a nationwide company it makes that kinda thing a lot easier. I'm very excited. Should be a fantastic job, a lot more variety with what I'm doing, and if i want to go on to do community nursing and I like it enough I can hopefully stay on at the same company.

So I quit my other job, which is actually kinda sad. I miss my clients a bit. you get to know people really well working in that kind of industry so its hard knowing that I'm going to miss out on seeing them again. I can go back and visit them though, it's not like I left on bad terms or anything, would be good to drop by in a few weeks and see how everyone is going.

Al and I got a bird. hehe. She is a cute as little budgie. She's lovely, only a baby, a lovely grey colour and a great personality. She has been my study buddy all week. She is extremely entertaining. Her name is Puddles.

umm what else is news?

I have my first exam tomorrow. ARGH! its bio, and only worth 35% so not too bad, but its the hardest exam. even though its worth the least, I have to remember the most. I think I'll be fine though. I have a second bio exam tuesday afternoon, and a health one on thursday. then two more exams next week and i'm done for the year! besides summer school, but thats online stuff so no more travelling to and from launnie and being away from Albert.

Talking of Al, we went on an adventure yesterday. Exam study has meant I've barely left the house all week, besides to take breaks in the sunshine in this beautiful weather we've been having. So we jumped in the car and decided to go and get lost. it worked. well, I was lost anyway, but my sense of direction is stuffed. We took my cameras with us just in case we found something fun. Went out through ferntree and kept going, through longley and ended up in tinderbox. stopped in a little cemetery on the way, to have an explore. got some wicked shots, I was having a ball, had my SLR, new digital and my medium format camera. It was a lovely graveyard, if such a thing exists. Lots of families in there. it wasn't spooky at all though, was nice. There was only one area that was a bit icky, where there were a couple of fresh graves and there was a smell and it wasn't very nice at all.

We went and played on tinderbox beach, and I got some awesome photos walking around on the rocks. From there we drove back into kingston and played there for a bit, then headed homewards. We got home about 8.30 i think. was heaps of fun :)

anyway I think its about bed time, early night for me, going for a walk with sammy in the morning then some revision before bio.

R x